I’ve been doing a daily self-portrait in my journal since June. Today’s self-portrait took a detour—I drew an animal I’d like to be instead, because, why not? My journal, my rules.
I met a cute, young, friendly coatimundi* when I was traveling around Costa Rica years ago. We had stopped at Tilajari, a resort where we hoped to stay, but all the rooms were taken by the crew of the movie Congo, which was being filmed in the jungle nearby.
The proprietor was kind enough to give us a tour of the resort, which he had created from a dream and built and landscaped over 15 years. After petting the coatimundi, I reached up to pet a big toucan sitting on a low branch of a tree.
The toucan gently snatched the ring on my finger with its enormous yellow bill and started tugging at it. Our host laughed and told me these toucans were trained to steal gold. I guess he figured out my ring was silver because it released my finger and flew higher up in the tree.
*Coatimundis are in the raccoon family but are not nocturnal like raccoons, and they have funny snouts a little like pigs. The males are solitary and the females and their young band together in social groups of up to 25. The males only join them during mating season.
Summer Selfie, Oil on Shellacked Arches Oil Paper, 9”x 6.5”
After the wig experiment I got even braver and cut my hair very short for the first time since I was about 12. I was going for something spiky, between Laurie Anderson and a pixie cut but this is what my curly hair wants to do.
I painted the oil sketch above from a photo as a test for using shellac as an archival primer/sealer/ground on paper. I used the Zorn palette (black, white, cadmium red and yellow ochre).
I got bored after painting my head so everything below my chin is pretty rough.
Getting Started with Shellac
Although it comes in a colorless formula, I bought amber shellac so that it could seal the paper and tone it at the same time (and it’s easier to see what you’ve covered). Since it’s transparent you can do a drawing with pencil or charcoal on the paper and then shellac over it and still see your drawing. (See below)
Shellac Over Pencil Sketch on Paper
Fun fact: Shellac is made from a substance secreted by female (she?) Lac beetles to make their tunnel-like tubes on tree branches. It is harvested by scraping it off those trees in India.
Shellac dries super quickly (in under 15 minutes) by evaporating out the denatured alcohol, which is the liquid the shellac is dissolved. It barely smells at all but it’s still good to have ventilation.
It’s best to make it fresh from flakes, but since I can’t buy denatured alcohol in California to dissolve it in, Zinsser canned shellac is my only option. You buy it at the hardware store, not the art store.
Application: It should be stirred first (not shaken). Then you can apply it with a cheap hardware store bristle brush (or a nicer one if you can get denatured alcohol or don’t mind using ammonia to clean it). Supposedly you can also let the brush dry without cleaning it and when you put it back in the can it will soften and be ready to use.
You can also apply it with a rag, a squeegee or anything except a sponge brush according to the hardware store guy. For this first experiment I just spread it with a flat paint stirrer stick and it worked fine and made a nice variegated background.
I really like the interesting painting surface that shellac provides—not too slippery like acrylic sealant but not so dry/absorbent like gesso or Arches Oil Paper without sealant.
A Few Tips and Mistakes to Avoid
For more shellac tips, watch artist Aimee Erickson’s video demo on using shellac to prime pages in a sketchbook for oil painting.
Shellac is thin and as it turns out, quite splashy. After I applied the shellac to my paper, I put the lid on the can, and, as I usually do with my gesso bucket, I tapped the lid with my rubber mallet to seal it. That sent golden shellac from the rim of the can splattering all over my table, the wall, a framed (in glass fortunately) painting on the wall and everything on the table. Now I carefully wipe the rim before tapping it with the mallet.
I did the drawing for this painting directly on the shellacked paper. Even though I had pretty good luck with the drawing, I still needed to do some erasing and redrawing. That roughed up the surface unpleasantly in some spots. Shellacking over a drawing may be a better solution.
I tried shellacking 140 pound cold pressed watercolor paper instead of Arches Oil Paper for another painting. Even though it does seal the paper, I found the painting surface quite unpleasant, and won’t do that again.
My social media feeds kept showing me wigs (how do they know my formerly boisterously curly hair was getting thin, grey and wimpy?) The influencers looked so cute in their (probably very expensive) wigs that I decided to try one.
A dog park acquaintance who always wears a wig recommended I order one from Temu. It was cheap, hideous, huge, hanging over my eyes and shedding. It quickly went back to Temu, a store I’m not a fan of.
Then a friend pointed me to some higher-quality inexpensive wigs on Amazon. I bought the one I’m wearing in the picture because it reminded me of what my hair looked like in my 20s: long, thick, wavy, chestnut color.
Unfortunately, not being anywhere close to my 20s anymore, I looked ridiculous in it close up. But it was fun to take a selfie wearing it and then paint a self-portrait before returning the wig.
About Painting: I recently watched an online painting video with Carol Peebles. Her guidance about comparative measuring in portrait drawing clarified so many things I’d been confused about. It helped me to get a likeness with much less struggling.
Painting is so much more fun when starting with a good drawing! I’m really happy with how this turned out. I think it’s my favorite self-portrait ever and I’ve done at least 50 of them over the years.
Gouache selfie sketch in Strathmore Mixed Media journal, 8.5 x 11 inches
It cracks me up how selfies end up making noses even more prominent than in real life, including the one above of me. I’m still finding my way with gouache but enjoying the immediacy of it and the easy clean up. It doesn’t allow for reworking forever the way oil painting does, which is helping me to focus more on getting it as close to right as I can with each brush stroke and color mixture.
Below is a gouache sketch from a photo in the Sktchy app of Farah W.’s mother.
Gouache painting of Farah W.’s mom from Sktchy in 8.5 x 11 inches
Painting quick self-portraits seemed like a good way to work through my feelings while supporting my elderly mother in hospice, especially with my limited studio time and energy. The most recent, #6 above, is my favorite so far because I focused on finding light, beauty and strength rather than darkness (and because I omitted my frown lines). I used a limited palette of titanium white, yellow ochre, venetian red, cobalt blue and a little Gamblin Asphaltum and a cool white light bulb.
Studio set-up with mirror
Here’s my funky set up with the big mirror propped up on a dresser drawer. In all six of these self-portraits (above and below) I focused on capturing something of what I was feeling in a short session (3- to 4-hour studies) without worrying too much about getting a true likeness.
Self-Portrait, Zorn Palette, oil on Mylar, 12×9 inches
I might look grumpy or serious from concentrating, a little cross-eyed (eyes drawn too close together), big-nosed and scrawny, but I’m really happy with this painting because it was fun to do! The hardest part was lighting my face without blinding myself with the glare.
Below you can see the setup I used in the studio, with the giant mirror I got for $10 (!) at Home Depot; it was half priced and had a few scratches so they took off another $5. I had a hard time supporting the mirror so that it was tall enough to see myself. Finally I found a solution: propped it up on an open drawer, held in place with two bungee cords wrapped around the studio chest of drawers.
Big Mirror in Studio (bungee corded onto dresser used for supplies)
Initial drawing on Mylar
A fresh sheet of Mylar on top of sketch
Initial block in of darks
Inspired by Myriam Yee (be sure to check out her amazing series of Zorn palette self-portraits here), I used the “Zorn” limited palette of Ivory Black, Cadmium Red Medium, Yellow Ochre and Titanium White. Myriam uses Williamsburg Cold Black instead of Ivory Black, which has some Ultramarine Blue mixed in and provides a wider range of colors. I bought a tube and am experimenting with it now.
I painted on Dura-Lar Matte Film again but this time (see previous post) I did the drawing on one sheet and then imposed a second sheet over it to paint on. This way, if I wanted to try a second painting of the same drawing or just want to save the drawing I still have it.
EDIM 11 Headgear (Migraine Ice Pack Wrap) graphite and watercolor, 10×7 in
I had a migraine on May 11 and wore my jaunty blue migraine ice pack/wrap over a green scarf until the meds kicked in. If I wear the ice pack without a scarf under it, the pain of my head freezing only makes the migraine feel better by comparison. The weight of the pack made my ears stick out which made it fun to draw them.
I should have left the pencil drawing unpainted. I think the color took away from the dimensionality I’d gotten with just pencil and white paper and now the shading looks like I’m growing a beard.
I wasn’t satisfied with the two ink and watercolor end-of-journal self-portraits (below) that completed the 8×10″ Moleskine I was working in back in June. Rose Frantzen had told me during my workshop with her that I had wonderful skin to paint and should be doing lots of self-portraits from life in oil. So I decided to give it a try.
I only had couple of hours left in the day for painting so chose a small 6×6″ panel that already had a dark background from wiping off a previous failed painting. I turned off most of the lights in the studio except for one pointing at my face from the left and one overhead light behind me. I clamped a mirror to the easel and started painting. What a surprise: after a couple of hours I’d made my most favorite self-portrait ever.
I know it’s not perfect but I don’t think it calls for perfecting; it’s just a moment in time and a record of a very enjoyable but short painting session.
Below are the two in my sketchbook. I was in a really grumpy mood and struggling with the drawing on the first one and it shows (below):
Self-Portrait with Birthday Bouquet, ink & watercolor, 10×8″
I was in a much better mood. I put my birthday bouquet on the table between me and the mirror and started drawing. It was confusing trying to combine what was real and what was mirror image. It’s a dorky drawing of me but I like the flowers.
Isn’t it amazing how emotions and mood show in a drawing or painting? It’s like there are two different people in these two sketches: mean, tense, bossy-lady and sweet, flowery, dorky girl.
End of Journal Self-Portrait in Stillman & Birn journal, ink & watercolor
OK, let’s just get this over with. At the end of each journal I sketch a self-portrait. In the one above from the end of 2012, I had new glasses but was in need of a haircut. I put on some lipstick and mascara to get in the spirit. Even though it’s not very complimentary (or maybe it is? Yikes) I think it looks like me.
End of Journal Self-Portrait, February 2013, Pitt brown Brush Pen and watercolor, 8×5″
This one was done quickly last month in a Moleskine watercolor notebook with a brown brush pen (still wearing the same old grey hoodie plus a down vest to stay warm). My hair and clothes look right but NOT my face. Oh well.
I’m now using a giant Moleskine watercolor notebook, A4 size I think. and I’m really loving it. I have a whole bunch more sketches and some oil paintings to post…. but since I feel the need to go somewhat in order I had to get these posted first. Done. Moving on.
End of Journal Self Portrait, graphite and watercolor, 7.5×5″
Just like my life, my blog and journal posts are all mixed up. I always save the last page in each journal for a self-portrait and this was in the Moleskine watercolor notebook that I finished last month.
I did the sketch standing at the big mirror in my studio which I just knew would be great for self portraits. The unlovely, but much-loved apparel in the sketch are a T-shirt my son made for me back when he was a teenage graffiti artist, and my favorite, funky, old grey sweatshirt that I wear all the time at home/in the studio.
The past month has been a bit of a wild ride, with a major transition in progress, which I’ll write about and celebrate here once it’s complete. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can catch up with more posting, painting and drawing!
Jana Bouc, Artist 
