
Micron Pigma ink and watercolor in large Moleskine watercolor notebook
(To enlarge, click image, select “All Sizes”)
This week’s EDM Challenge is to draw and write about a gift we’ve received.
On the last day of a watercolor class I was teaching, Donna brought this cute little Santa as a gift for me (along with some yummy pumpkin bread to share). In past years I was very grumpy during the holidays but this year I decided to try something different. Instead of ranting about rampant commercialism, I would try to be a source of good cheer. I discovered that if I stayed true to myself by opting out of shopping, exchanging gifts and partying, I could go through the holidays gracefully. This little Santa sits on my table as a cheery reminder of the fullness and joy the holidays can bring.
I love hearing about other people’s memories of wonderful family Christmas celebrations with snow and gingerbread and all. I never had those growing up in southern California in a non-religious Jewish family. It wasn’t until my parents divorced and my dad moved out that my mom decided we could celebrate Christmas. So she hung some decorations on a big piece of driftwood she’d found on the beach and stuck in a pot of dirt in the living room. Not the sort of holiday that sugar plum dreams are made of.
When I was married and my kids were little we made a big deal out of Christmas, and had some cozy family traditions. But as the kids got older and the marriage ended, I began to gradually back out of the holiday. Each year I got a smaller tree until one year I just hung up a little picture of a tree. Once the kids moved on to their own lives, I dropped the whole Christmas/Hanukah thing. I continued enjoying and celebrating Thanksgiving and New Years though, since those holidays, to me, are about reflecting and giving thanks and spending time with loved ones without the shopping.
Now I’m letting Christmas back in again, just a wee bit, with my little Santa sitting on my table, reminding me about the fullness and joy of the season. It seems to be working — I haven’t had a single rant and it’s already a week before Christmas. (Thanks Donna!)
(To slip just a bit in the rant department, I laughed at Willie’s Christmas tree here (notice what’s under the tree!).
Added in response to some comments: It’s hard to explain, but I really don’t feel sad at all. It’s kind of like I just don’t have that holiday gene so I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. I think I feel more unhappy when I force myself to participate in things that don’t feel authentic to me. So instead I’m kind of vicariously enjoying the holidays by watching other people who do have the gene and seeing how they enjoy the season and appreciating it.