Ink, colored pencil & watercolor in 9×12 sketchbook (Larger)
In yesterday’s post I wrote about what I call “Hamster Brain” (when my mind gets stuck spinning in a hamster wheel of “shoulds” and I can’t figure out what to do next and so do nothing). I was going through an old sketchbook and found this illustration I did in 1999 on a similar day of “my brain on hamsters.”
When I read the journal entry it was interesting to see that I’d figured out back then what was really going: a fear of not having enough: not enough time, and maybe not enough talent or skill either as I faced the artist’s version of writer’s block…that icky fear that seems to come around when I finish one project and am faced with the blank canvas/sheet of paper. I’ve learned to encourage myself and turn off those critical voices but every once in awhile they sneak up and get me when I’m not looking.
Today was so much more enjoyable, even though it was pouring down rain. I did my errands, went to the gym, and painted. Sometimes it takes a hamster-brained day like yesterday to make me really appreciate an ordinary day that is joyous just by the absence of negativity and blocks.